Laperriere: 'I Lied to Myself' About Symptoms
(from CSNPhilly.com)
By Tim Panaccio
CSNPhilly.com
September 28, 2010 - Ian Laperriere says he played in last year's playoffs with post-concussion symptoms, but did not tell the Flyers' medical staff because he kept making excuses to himself that it was not related to his injury suffered against New Jersey.
Why would a 17-year veteran player at 36 risk such?
He wanted to play.
"I lied to myself," Laperriere told CSNPhilly.com on Tuesday afternoon.
"Pretty much all summer and even last year too, I've been lying to myself. Last year, when I came back and was fine, but I had headaches and I was looking for a reason why and saying it might be coming from my neck because I was wearing a shield and always finding excuses and lying to myself.
"Then in camp, I would tell myself that I worked too hard today. Or my neck was bugging me again. At one point, I couldn't go back on the ice again because I didn't feel right."
He finally told general manager Paul Holmgren on Saturday what he was experiencing.
"So I talked to Homer," Laperriere said. "I didn't feel I lied to them because I was lying to myself."
Laperriere said he kept thinking over the summer that "things would get better" because he had "weeks" before training camp.
"You know what? Things don't get better," he said. "Before things get really worse, I need to see the doctors on Friday and just go from there."
Laperriere said last year he desperately wanted to play in the Stanley Cup Final. Which he did. He also played in the Montreal series.
Ironically, he had sworn that his personal safety had to come first and he wasn't going to jeopardize his own health because he wanted to live long enough as an ex-player to see his kids grow up.
Now it's clear that Laperriere put himself at risk. Even coming into training camp.
"I thought I was healthy when I came back and doing nothing for three weeks, when the [headaches] began, I thought it might be coming from my neck because you always want to find reasons [to play]," he said.
"I'm a player who worked 16 years to get there...At some point I had to be honest with myself...I realized [in camp] that I was going to get hurt and that I was going to hurt the team."
He said that realized during his summer workouts that he was actually suffering from post-concussion syndrome.
Last year, he said his family would have been disappointed in him if he risked his health. Asked on Tuesday how his wife reacted to this news, he said she was understanding.
"She was a little upset," he said. "She knows the way I am and who I am. You know what? I convinced myself that I was 100 percent and those pains were coming from my neck and the shield. You want to play those games. You play in the league this long...
"Now I know before I really hurt myself or my family I need...to get better."
E-mail Tim Panaccio at tpanotch@comcast.net